I should be a Psychic

Way back in Febuary or March when I was visiting a mate I could see, or rather feel that there was someone sitting on his shoulder. A black figure, kind of curled up with their arms wrapped around their body whilst they knelt on his left shoulder, an image that gave me a mixed up bunch of feelings. There was love, but there was also pain and an overwhelming sense that whomever this was had or would cause him some dramas.

I knew it wasn’t his ex as when I closed my eyes I could kind of see her, quite a ways behind him blurring into the background as though her reign of control was over, their shared offspring standing at the halfway point clearly visible. I asked him who the chick was on his shoulder, expecting to find out about some other ex that had some kind of control over him, but he looked at me, trying to hide the whole ‘What fucking drugs is she on?’ look and told me he had no idea.

I knew it was a girlfriend and thought it was an ex, that is until he met his new girlfriend and I saw her picture on facebook. Dressed in all black wearing a set of black wings! I reminded him of months before when I was asking about who the gargoyle like angel was. I so should’ve been a psychic!

But that’s not all… I’ve had the strongest weirdest feeling regarding the same mate for well over a month know, a feeling of seeing a daughter for him. But standing out even stronger than that were the dates of September 11th through to the 17th. I thought of asking if it was his step daughter’s birthday this week, or if he had another daughter he’d not told me of. In the back of my mind there was also the thought of him and his new girlfriend having a baby girl, but I kind of ruled that out, thinking that there was no way that he’d get fooled like that again.There was also a sense of negative energy, a feeling that perhaps the relationship may be coming to an end this week.

Feeling like a total nutter I kept my mouth shut. Also it really didn’t feel like it was any of my business.

Tonight he texted me, just asking if maybe I could baby sit for him on the weekend. I thought it was odd as I figured his girlfriend would babysit for him if he had to work. I couldn’t text him back cause I’m a broke assed skank so initially I just sent him a message on facebook telling him I’d talk to X and the girls, see what everyone’s doing over the weekend and work out if I could get up there to help him out. Then I remembered I’d seen his girlfriend in the facebook chat box once before, so I switched that on found her and sent her a message, just asking if she could tell him I’m out of credit and could she ask him to give me a call tomorrow. ‘No worries’ was the reply. I felt kind of weird as I haven’t had a chance to meet her yet as they live further up the coast, but said thanks sweetie and signed off with an xox.

That’s when I saw her last status update. This Person is Now single. I just had this overwhelming feeling of dread, I knew I’d just fucked up big time. I wrote him another short message apologising for messaging the girlfriend, telling him I hoped everything was alright and to give me a call. As soon as I hit send my phone beeped.

“Arghhh. Don’t send messages to her”

FUCK!

a few minutes later he rings me. I asked what happened and he just said it was a long drawn out story, but he’d explain later. During a short pause in the conversation I just asked ‘Is she pregnant?’ and told him about the whole feeling that something was going to happen to him this week, and discovered that there is a large chance she is. I left out the bit about it being a daughter as I’m sure he’s stressed out enough.

Often I have these strange feelings, often they come true in one way or another and I’ve long felt a strong connection with this friend, and thus far nearly every feeling I’ve had like this regarding him has come to fruition, but I’m hoping that the outcome will just be that they break up because of the whole pregnancy scare, rather than her actually being pregnant. Maybe I should read his cards – I read tarot cards and actually worked as a ‘phone psychic’ reading cards to people for a while. I don’t know if I was any good as you never get to find out if your predictions come true in that kind of setting. But as I really should ask his permission before I read them I’ll leave it til I speak to him, hopefully tomorrow.

So maybe I should go back to being a psychic, My centerlink dramas are continuing and actually worsening and I could certainly do with the cash… or maybe I’ll get a vision of next weeks lotto numbers or something lol.

To finish up I just wanted to say sorry for the very intermittent, rather dull posts lately, I’m crumbling under the stress of the centerlink debacle and my psychic intuition and the state of my mates life is far more interesting than mine at the moment. I have however been reading some amazing blogs as well as interesting articles regarding abortion, in particular late term abortion and well.. considering his situation and that pregnancy can be a result of sex and thus abortion may come into the picture I’ll do my best to finish up my abortion issue of weekend reading. Hoping to find some blogs giving the guys perspective on such things, as I think it’s an equation that the male is often left out of, which whilst that will never change I do understand how unfair it must feel for a guy s it truly is the female’s decision at the end of the day.

Oh and cross your fingers, for his sake because he really doesn’t want any more kids, and also for her as I’d hate for her to end up as a single mum… And of course Practise safe sex. I think I’ll go buy him a box of condoms! lol

til next time

xoxo

Violet

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30 Days of Letters – Letter #2 A letter to my Crush

Let’s see if I can get this right on the second attempt

Firstly i apologise for how long it’s taking me to write these letters, I never thought I’d reach the end in 30 days but I didn’t expect it to take as long as it is. I’m just really really stressed out and dreadfully depressed over my financial situation and huge fine – but today I formally lodged my application for an appeal. I should have an answer within 7 days… So watch this space, I’ll either be over the moon or completely destroyed when I receive the results. Cross your fingers for me xo

Now… Onto My Crush…

I’ve already posted that I was kind of skipping over letter #2 of the whole 30 Days of Letters meme, but have come to realise I actually do have a crush. It’s actually someone I love dearly, someone I didn’t realise I had such a crush on until I discovered they would be leaving my everyday life in the not too distant future… So here Goes….

To My Crush,

Although I’ve known you for what feels like forever it is only now, now that I know you are leaving that I’ve come to realise how deeply my feelings for you are. The entire time we’ve been close you’ve tried to pull me closer, just as I have consistently pulled away, constantly repeating that this wasn’t an affair of the heart and trying to re-enforce the fact that I didn’t want your love. How fucking wrong was I???

It is now… when it is far too late that I realise I do feel the way that I’ve been trying to deny. Somehow you’ve woven your way into my heart and I can’t figure out how to untangle the mess that is my head and my heart.

I wish I could come with you so that I can embrace what I’ve been working so hard to ignore. I didn’t expect to feel like this… never ever…not in a million years. But I can’t deny it. The thought of you leaving has me realising that I really do have feelings for you and that life seems bleak and barren when I consider living with out you. Although I don’t want you to go I could never hold you back, you need to do what makes you happy, and I really am trying to be happy for you… as I try to hold back the tears.

This all came out of left field, an experience I never imagined and although my heart is already breaking I know I’m a better person for simply loving you.

Violet xx

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