Let’s see if I can get this right on the second attempt

Firstly i apologise for how long it’s taking me to write these letters, I never thought I’d reach the end in 30 days but I didn’t expect it to take as long as it is. I’m just really really stressed out and dreadfully depressed over my financial situation and huge fine – but today I formally lodged my application for an appeal. I should have an answer within 7 days… So watch this space, I’ll either be over the moon or completely destroyed when I receive the results. Cross your fingers for me xo

Now… Onto My Crush…

I’ve already posted that I was kind of skipping over letter #2 of the whole 30 Days of Letters meme, but have come to realise I actually do have a crush. It’s actually someone I love dearly, someone I didn’t realise I had such a crush on until I discovered they would be leaving my everyday life in the not too distant future… So here Goes….

To My Crush,

Although I’ve known you for what feels like forever it is only now, now that I know you are leaving that I’ve come to realise how deeply my feelings for you are. The entire time we’ve been close you’ve tried to pull me closer, just as I have consistently pulled away, constantly repeating that this wasn’t an affair of the heart and trying to re-enforce the fact that I didn’t want your love. How fucking wrong was I???

It is now… when it is far too late that I realise I do feel the way that I’ve been trying to deny. Somehow you’ve woven your way into my heart and I can’t figure out how to untangle the mess that is my head and my heart.

I wish I could come with you so that I can embrace what I’ve been working so hard to ignore. I didn’t expect to feel like this… never ever…not in a million years. But I can’t deny it. The thought of you leaving has me realising that I really do have feelings for you and that life seems bleak and barren when I consider living with out you. Although I don’t want you to go I could never hold you back, you need to do what makes you happy, and I really am trying to be happy for you… as I try to hold back the tears.

This all came out of left field, an experience I never imagined and although my heart is already breaking I know I’m a better person for simply loving you.

Violet xx