Call me crazy but coke as a contraceptive? I can only imagine how bad of an infection would come after filling your vag up with any kind of sugary, fizzy drink!!

And Carrots? The only way a carrot can prevent pregnancy is if you use the carrot instead of a penis for penetration.

If you hadn’t already worked it out all of these forms of contraception are truly ridiculous. THE best form of contraception is of course abstinence followed by solo masturbation, but if you actually do want to fuckin the traditional, hetro-sexual sense of the term use a condom.  Not only does it prevent conception it can also stop you from catching a myriad of sexually transmitted nasties.  Can you tell that I’m a parent to a teenager?

now go about your merry day as though I haven’t just lectured you like a 14 yr old boy.

Violet xx